Fireflies From Heaven Read online

  Fireflies From Heaven

  Rebecca Lauren

  Text copyright © 2014 Rebecca Lauren

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover Design by Melody Simmons of eBookindiecovers

  This book is dedicated to my husband and daughter for their love and support while I worked to bring life to my characters. I love you both.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Epilogue

  Chapter 1

  When I was four-years-old my parents took me to one of those pop up carnivals, and I was over the moon because I’d spent the day having a blast on rides, playing games, and eating junk food like cotton candy and snow cones. My dad must have thrown at least a couple dozen hoops before he finally landed one around a bottle and won a huge, sparkly red balloon.

  We were making our way toward our car when I saw a little boy crying and my happiness vanished, and I felt like crying with him. Tears dripped down the boy’s chin and onto his green and white striped shirt as he stared hopelessly toward the sky at a blue balloon that was heading for heaven. I didn’t stop to think before handing him my own treasured balloon. For a second he seemed stunned, and then he smiled at me.

  The boy’s mom looked relieved and thanked me for the balloon and my kindness. My own parents looked concerned. I guess they were worried I’d regret giving away the prized balloon, but I never did. It still warms my heart to remember the little boy clutching my balloon in his fist and looking back at me with a grateful smile.

  Two years later I was playing at the park when I saw some kids throwing rocks at something they were circled around. I ran straight for them and pushed my way into the circle and saw a big dog crouched down, his brownish-black fur matted with dirt and rocks. His head was buried pitifully in a patch of clovers, as if trying to hide himself, and his eyes were closed.

  “Leave him alone!” I cried, moving between the kids and the scared dog.

  “Maybe we should use you as target practice instead,” one of the boys laughed. His friends laughed too.

  “Good one Austin! Neither one of them has any friends,” a girl said maliciously. I’d seen her before at school, and I think her name was Caitlin. “Both of you are losers!” Caitlin shouted.

  “We are not!” I shot back. “My dad’s a police officer and if you don’t leave the dog alone, I’ll get him. It’s against the law to be mean to animals.”

  “They are losers,” Austin agreed, but he looked uncertain. “Let’s go,” he told his friends.

  I stood my ground until they were gone, my heart thundering wildly against my chest. Relieved, I turned back to the trembling dog and found his big, brown eyes fastened on me. I took a step toward him and the dog cowered.

  “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you,” I said softly.

  The dog didn’t look like he believed me and I guess I understood the mistrust. Daring a step closer, I crouched and slowly reached my hand out for him to sniff. Then I gently stroked his head.

  When Mama said it was time to go, I wanted to cry. I wasn’t sure the threat of calling my dad would be enough to stop the kids from picking on the dog once I was gone. I wished I could take him with me, but I knew I couldn’t ask it of mama. She’d been sick a lot lately and Dad was working extra-jobs to pay bills. Even at six I knew dogs cost a lot of money. Sadly, I left my new friend.

  The next morning I heard my dad yelling, “Shoo!”

  I ran out the front door and onto the porch and saw my dog lying loyally beside one of the shoes I’d worn to the park the day before.

  “Ellie get back!” my dad shouted, jumping forward and shoving me behind him.

  “It’s okay Dad. He’s my friend.”

  I told my dad the story of how I’d met the dog. He talked it over with my mom and I was surprised and overjoyed that they let me keep the dog. I named him Jack, and he followed me everywhere he was allowed, slept in my bed and became my very best friend.

  Mama said I had the gift of empathy because I could feel the sadness of others like it was my own. She said I’d have to be careful not to drown in an ocean of someone else’s pain. I wasn’t exactly sure I understood what she meant, but I loved her and it seemed to please her when I promised her I’d never do that.

  Not too long after Jack came to live with us, mama got even sicker. I knew something was terribly wrong even before she told me that she was going to go to heaven and see Nana and Grandpa, and that she’d be like an angel watching over me always.

  I wanted to break down and cry, to scream and beg her to stay with me because I needed her, but I knew that my outburst would only make her sadder so I smiled and told her I loved her and that I understood.

  Mama looked me in the eyes, touched my cheek with her frail hand and said to me, “It’s okay to cry and be mad. You don’t have to pretend with me, Ellie.”

  I lowered my head to her chest and wept while she stroked my hair.

  “I love you so much,” I whispered.

  “You don’t ever have to feel alone, Ellie. I told you I’d watch over you and I’ll keep my promise.”

  I looked up at Mama. “How will I know you’re there?”

  She seemed to think about the question for a moment, and I felt guilty for stealing what little strength she had left. “When you’re happy I’ll be the sun that shines down on your face and warms your skin. If you’re sad or afraid I’ll cry so many tears that there’ll be a storm in heaven, and when the raindrops fall from the sky you’ll know that it’s me. When you come to a crossroads and don’t know what to do look outside on a grassy bank just before sunset and you’ll see a million fireflies from heaven lighting your way.”

  After Mama was gone, I closed myself off to others as a means of self- preservation. I didn’t have any friends in school. The other kids thought I was weird or stuck up, and teachers thought I was shy. I still didn’t know exactly what leukemia was, but I knew that I hated it because it had taken Mama away from me.

  Our joy had died along with her, and Dad and I didn’t really know how to go on with just the two of us. We survived day by day, ate a lot of fast food and never laughed anymore. Dad cried at night, but he did it quietly and he didn’t know that I heard him.

  We were broken.

  It was sometime during the year after Mama died that I realized it would have broken her heart to see Dad and I miserable. We had to go on and try to be happy, if not for us then we’d have to do it for Mama because I had no doubt that she was watching from heaven. I shared this with my dad. He gathered me in his arms and apologized. He also agreed with me and from that day forward, we did our best to make things right.

  After this epiphany, I met my best friend Cora. Dad started to smile every once in a while, and we bought a cookbook. Together we learned to cook something without setting off the smoke alarm—that only happened twice. Dad discovered he liked cooking, but after turning his underwear and t-shirts pink we both decided that I’d take over the laundry. We learned to be happy again, and I knew that Mama was looking down from heaven and smiling at us.

  Holidays were difficult. Most of those w
ere spent with me and Dad and Cora, whose mom wasn’t home a lot. I knew something wasn’t right about Cora’s mom but it made Cora sad, so I tried not to mention her mother. Luckily, Cora loved spending time with Dad and I, and we loved her as well.

  Sometimes we’d visit Uncle Jonathon, Aunt Lacy and my cousin Brooke, but not too often because my great-grandparents didn’t like my dad. When Mama and Uncle Jonathon were eight, their parents had been killed in a car crash and they’d gone to live with their grandparents, who were strict and had little tolerance for my mom and dad’s teenage love affair.

  I’d never met my great-grandparents even though they’d been at Mama’s funeral, which I barely remember. They’d disowned Mama after she’d gotten pregnant at eighteen then eloped with my dad, and apparently still held a grudge against us.

  The years slipped by with laughter and mishaps.

  When I was thirteen my red-faced, uncomfortable-looking dad sat me down for the sex talk, and I think he’d never missed Mama more than he did at that moment. It was embarrassing for both of us, and I know he was thankful that I wasn’t boy-crazy like many girls my age.

  I spent most of my high school years studying, volunteering at the hospital and hanging out with Cora. Unlike me, Cora was always crushing on a boy but she never did anything about it except doodle the boy’s name in her notebook and gush to me about how hot he was.

  Her longest and most memorable crush was when we were freshman in high-school and she fell hopelessly in love with Reed Bentley, a senior with a gorgeous girlfriend, Amber Foster, who happened to be a popular cheerleader.

  Cora was so embarrassingly obvious in her devotion to Reed that the kids at school made fun of her behind her back. I was always defending her and praying she never realized how cruel some of the kids could be. Cora pretended she didn’t care what other people thought of her, but I knew that she was one of the kindest people I’d ever met and she covered up a lot with quick-witted, sometimes sarcastic remarks. If she noticed the gossip about her, she chose to ignore it.

  I envied Cora for her courage, and I wished that I only saw the best in people, but I was agonizingly aware of how unjust things could be if you were born different, didn’t have as much money, or weren’t as popular as the other kids.

  Luckily, Cora had amazing taste in guys because not only did Reed Bentley never make fun of Cora, he championed her against anyone that would hurt her feelings. His girlfriend Amber was just as kind, and I was thankful to both of them.

  Then the unthinkable happened.

  One day after school I saw a bunch of kids gathered around Cora’s locker, and a knot of dread tightened in my chest even before I saw the malicious smile on Caitlin’s face. I’d seen the look years ago when she and her friends had been throwing rocks at Jack. She held something in her perfectly manicured hand, a note, and I braced myself for the worst.

  “You’re just in time Ellie! Guess what your geek friend wrote to Reed?” Caitlin sneered.

  Laughter and cheers of encouragement answered Caitlin’s comment and someone began to chant, “Read it! Read it!”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brooke cheering along with the rest of the crowd and a wave of betrayal crashed inside of me.

  Dear Reed,

  I know that you’ll never read this letter, but I feel like I’ll burst if I keep my feelings for you inside any longer. I think about you all the time. I’d never do anything to hurt your relationship with Amber, which is why I’ll never show you this letter.

  I think about you all the time, and I want you so much it hurts. I dream of kissing you, touching you and I want my first time to be with you.

  “That’s enough,” Reed interrupted in a deep, authoritative voice.

  I’d stood frozen and allowed her to read Cora’s letter, but now I turned toward Reed, angry and horrified. His jaw was tightly clenched and he looked as furious as I felt.

  Seemingly unaware of Reed’s anger, Caitlin laughed. “Can you believe what Cora wrote to you? As if you’d ever be with that loser!”

  Stepping forward, I reached for the letter but Caitlin snatched it back. “Cora didn’t write that letter. I did.” I spoke loudly enough so that everyone could hear me.

  The crowd turned to look at me and I lifted my chin, unwilling to show weakness, sensing that I didn’t have a friend in this crowd. I was wrong. Reed’s deep blue eyes found mine and in the instant our gazes locked, I felt compassion, admiration and sympathy from him.

  “I want the note,” Reed said calmly to Caitlin, who handed it to him with a dumbfounded expression on her face. “Show’s over,” Reed announced.

  The crowd dispersed at his command, but not before Reed shocked everyone and me by taking my hand and pulling me towards him. I was too surprised to say anything, so I just let Reed lead me outside and into the student parking lot. It wasn’t until we reached his old blue truck that he turned and faced me.

  “Thank you,” I breathed with relief. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”

  Reed stared at me as if I was something he didn’t understand but was determined to figure out. “You and I both know you didn’t write the note, Ellie. And just so you know, I’m only embarrassed at the way my friends were acting.”

  Hearing him say my name made my stomach dip, and I shifted uncomfortably. “What are you going to do with it?” I asked cautiously, eyeing the note in his hand.

  He handed it to me. Our fingers brushed as I took it, and I felt a tingling warmth slither up my spine. Startled, I glanced up at Reed and he seemed as unsettled I was. Raking a hand through his short, black hair, he frowned and I found myself staring at his mouth, suddenly thinking about Cora’s letter and what she had written about wanting to kiss him.

  “Are you waiting for Cora?” he asked me.

  “No. Not today. She has band practice.”

  Reed nodded. “Get in the truck and I’ll take you home.”

  Blinking, I stared at him and probably looked like an idiot, but I could not believe that Reed Bentley was offering to take me home. He made me nervous. Being in the same truck with him, even for a short drive, didn’t seem like a good idea. “It’s okay,” I told him, noticing the odd pitch to my voice. “I usually walk anyway.”

  “Ellie, it’s going rain,” he said patiently, glancing up at the gray sky. “It’s the least I can do to make up for what just happened.”

  My eyes widened. “That wasn’t your fault.”

  His steady gaze held mine. “It wasn’t yours either, but everyone is going to be talking about you now. I wish I could protect you from the gossip, but I won’t be able to stop all of it.”

  He seemed genuinely troubled by that, and I wanted to reassure him that I was going to be okay.

  Smiling I said, “A little gossip isn’t going to break me, and I’ll take care of Cora.”

  His studied me, as if couldn’t believe what I had said. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

  “Of course.” I felt strange beneath his unwavering gaze. “Look, if you think I’m going to be skipping classes and hiding out in the bathroom because of this, you don’t need to worry,” I assured him.

  This seemed to amuse him. “No hiding out in the bathroom, huh. What about under the stairwell?”

  I started to shake my head, but I was almost positive he was teasing me. “Not the stairwell, but maybe the library.”

  He laughed, the sound a deep, rich rumble that tickled my senses. “Courage at any age is remarkable, but it’s damned rare in someone so young.”

  “I’m almost fifteen,” I told him.

  Reed’s lips twitched. “That old?” he teased.

  I couldn’t help but smile. “I guess if you’re seventeen, fourteen-year-olds seem like kids.”

  “Eighteen,” he corrected.

  My heart sank.

  The four years between fourteen and eighteen were an unbridgeable gap. I wasn’t sure if the despair I felt was for Cora or myself, and I shoved aside the feeling of guilt because neither
of us would ever stand a chance with Reed. If we would have, then I’d never do anything to hurt Cora.

  I got into the truck and let him take me home. We’d barely pulled out of the parking lot when the sky opened up and the rain fell in sheets, pounding the windshield. I thought about my mother, remembering what she’d said about a storm in heaven, and I wondered what she’d think about Reed.

  “You were right about the rain,” I told him.

  “Yeah. You should always listen to your elders,” he teased.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  His smile vanished, and he looked suddenly serious. “I take that back, Ellie. Don’t listen to anything teenage guys say to you.”

  Turning to look at him, my gaze collided with his. “You think they would lie to me?” I didn’t realize at the time that I was flirting with him.

  “I know they’d say just about anything if you looked at them the way you’re looking at me now.”

  I didn’t say anything else and neither did Reed. We rode the rest of the way to my house in silence.

  “Thanks for the ride and for everything.” We’d reached my house and I was reluctant for my time with him to end.

  He shrugged and looked over at me as if he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure if he should. “I know what it’s like when kids make fun of you,” he admitted.

  I didn’t know what to say. Reed Bentley was the most popular guy in school, but the sincerity and the troubled look in his eyes told me he wasn’t a stranger to pain.

  “You and I have a lot in common, Ellie. My mom died when I was young too, and my dad didn’t handle it as well as yours. Luckily, I had my sister Isabelle.”

  He knew about my mom. I wasn’t sure what to think about that, but suddenly I felt a connection with Reed Bentley that I’d never felt with anyone before.

  “I’m sorry,” I said lamely, knowing it wasn’t enough.

  He smiled at me, and his expression was one of acceptance without a trace of self-pity. “My dad started drinking after mom died. I’ve lost count of the times he’s been arrested. Isabelle and I have met your dad at the police station.”